Grinding

Grinding

1. Also Known As Dirty Dancing. When a girl is rubbing her ass all over a guys 'tweed gentleman parts' until it comes to the point where he gets a woody i was grinding with this girl with the biggest booty

2. A skateboarding move, where a part of the skateboard is slid off a rail or edge.

That rail's one of the best for grinding.

 3. Gaming reference. Repeatedly performing an action/event to attain an item. Most commonly used when referring to an RPG (Role Playing Game), i.e. World of Warcraft, Final Fantasy, etc.

4. slangin crack for profit

i been on the grind for the last three days an pulled 1,200 dollars all profit

4. Showering yourself in sparks to try and get something to look like something else.

Guess which one I was doing on the weekend? That's right slangin crack.

Brett had given us a square piece of metal and asked for some reason that we cut it into a circle.. bla bla the hub needs to be round as the wheel is round.. bla bla.... square hub isn't the same.... bla bla symmetrical... As a kid I always wanted the round window to come up on Play School but having to grind this metal into a circle I've asked myself what the hell is wrong with the square window? 

Lucky for me accuracy in this job isn't essential as Brett will turn it on the metal lathe for it's final shape.

We went from this mostly harmless piece of metal

to this slightly cut apart version with a hacksaw

 But as traditional as having the feats of strength at festivus.

I stuffed it up as you can see from this more finished version

....one of these things does not look like the other.
My problems stem back to childhood which luckily is where I can also trace back my problems with my left round metal thing. You see I was drilling the second pilot hole when the drill moved ever so slightly making the precise hole about 1/2mm away from where I wanted it. I tried then to drill a bigger hole using a drill press improving but still compounding the problem as I expected. I then thought bugger it I'll let Brett my knight in shining armour sort out whether I have truly stuffed it or only partially stuffed it, just quietly I think there is enough meat (that's workshop slang for metal) for it to turn just fine (I hope). So I did.
Ps. this is your extra post this week. That's right you are getting a two for the price of one. 

Karma

Upon donning my rather fetching onesy and getting ready to leave I noted an ominous omen, my good karma frog had disappeared from it's home within our front gate.

 See it's gone below.

Obviously this LOGKFP (lack of good karma frog presence) was something to be concerned about. However instead of curling up in a ball reciting gear ratios and percentages to myself as usual

I pressed on in a single speed mind.

It was a dark night (as often I find they are at this latitude) a gentle mist had fallen over the moor lands at Bracken Ridge. Driving my Mist Green 2007 RAV4 into the mist destiny had held me a reservation for onesy. (luckily the mist is a whitish colour where as the car is a green mist otherwise it would have been confusing and dangerous for other drivers)

Yes that's right gentle reader the return of the dark lord 'he who shall not be named' MFTF (My Friend The File). In an earlier post I had deluded myself into thinking that I had solved my Welcome Back Cotter issue, not the one how did Vinnie Barbarino feel about drugs but had I really fixed the crank cotter pin fiasco? I showed what I had done to Brett, remembering my LOGKFP, I knew it might not be all frogs and front fences. As it turned out it wasn't, the good karma frog foretold this. There was mention of humps and bumps in the cotter pin connection which would result in me having a floppy crank. Goodness gracious I exclaimed a floppy crank sounds terrible sounds like a terrible condition.

After some whinging (ok a lot of whinging, ok ok I whinged a real lot) to Brett he gave me the bluntest and most piss weak MFTF he could find (although I suggested using brown paper instead might be more at my skill level) he told me to man up and fix it (well he's way too nice to say such things but he should have). So off I went feeling that deep trepidation that only a hipster feels when he's forced to ride a bike with gears. I slowly filed some more off to try and fix my delusions, dreams and aspirations. Regrettably it appears all I fixed was my crank and cotter pin connection although not on my list a nice outcome anyway. At least I hope it's fixed, it's somewhat better but next week we'll find out if I did or have I continued to delude myself again this week. (just quietly the safe money is on deluded)

So I was filing the flat bit in the axle yet again.

A genius put together this jig to measure the cranks, I am forever in his debt for doing so as it really helped me this week.

At the end of the class was time for more home work. Now I was standing there when I heard the words from the 'genuine woman' 3D filing. I repeated my mantra DMY over and over again whilst cursing the LOGKFP.... I think I'll leave it there as there should be some mysteries in life. But if anyone is in the market I have a slightly used onesy for sale on eBay going cheap...

There was more to this weeks class and I'll talk about the homework later upon my recovery from the shock of 3D filing.

Onesy-rama-rama

Now and then in our lives we make a decision that heralds a new era. For some getting married, having kids others having chocolate instead of vanilla ice cream. Just between you and me dear reader one such moment was the onesy.....

This simple yet elegant garment has redefined my whole world.

I thought I had created a new era of style and sophistication. Upon further research this 'onesy' fashion heralds back to a time when things were simpler...

and also a whole lot more disturbing....

In addition to the blue stretch crotch it makes important social commentary....
"Designed for people like you who make things happen". Hang I'm on people like me and I make things happen! What a happy coincidence. But wait a minute I've seen someone else wear an outfit that reminds me of the onesy somewhere before....

He also made things happen. Sure they involved death and destruction and the creation of a huge ball in space but that is making things happen

Whilst science would not doubt prove a stretch terry jumpsuit if alive today would be the most awesome thing in the universe, we really need to consider more modern applications of the onesy

This thought provoking advertisement poses a number of deeply philosophical questions and comments on the individual.
"Show where you are headed". As long as I worked out which way to put it on hopefully the big zip will help those directionally challenged.
"Designed with your desires in mind". What about if I desire going to the bathroom without exposing my entire man front?
"The metaphorical question at the end 'Am I man enough to fill it'?" Considering the average weight and size of the population shouldn't the question be 'are you man enough to actually squeeze your fat arse into it?'

Unfortunately dear reader I've reached my LAMCT (looking at men's crotches threshold) and have to end the post here. If like me you have now a severely overloaded LAMCT Dr Aaron will provide you some oitment to sooth your poor eyes with action people....

You're welcome! 

Next week we'll get back to a more penny farthing related post.

Welcome Back Cotter

Welcome back
To that same old place that you laughed about.

This weeks blog I'm sure will have the staying power of a folksy mediocre 1970's television show. The annals of history have been altered, generations ahead will be learning from this blog in school and marvelling at the sophisticated wordplay and social commentary like the following....

Whilst drugs will make this post more understandable... drugs are bad mkay...

In my last post I mentioned I was partaking in three elements of homework. The bling-bling mentioned previously and the second part I tackled today was getting the cotter pin to fit and cranks to run straight. As I mentioned in an earlier post I ballsed up the essential crank and cotter pin connection. Yet gentle reader, there was still hope with the new cranks and cotter pin! It looked like all was not lost, that indubitably would plummet me into a bottomless pit of despair until even this hilarious video didn't help (the zinger 18 seconds in will have you in stitches).

Now was the real moment of truth could I get it back into some form of shape? After cutting the crank in the last class

I then had to get the crank to match the other side using a grinder then MFTF (my friend the file). I got it the same width but realised the other crank was tapered so from this....

to this

I know you are wondering just how did this happen was it daemons or a wizzard of kinds? Well hold onto your hats and socks my friends it was with MFTF. With this part done I could turn my attention to the mischievous cotter pin holding section (the flat bit cut into the crank). After more time with MFTF I got it to within a poofteenth of being level.

There might or might not been a whole lot of dodgy filing going on.... I'm going to take it to class to discuss how to finish off the tiny change needed to iron out that poofteenth.

Stay tuned gentle reader for the next no doubt mediocre and more than a little folksy post.

Bling-bling

Last week I indicated we are on holidays for three weeks while kids play with their cup and balls.Being the mature man about town I am I've taken home three mini projects to keep the bike going.

This weekend I decided to have a go at the brake, in particular the brake shoe. I'm very excited about this part as it'll make the bike road legal and is made of brass which is 'ye olde bling-bling'.

Now all great movies have bling-bling (check out Terminator 2 how much bling does the T1000 have!) but more importantly a montage in them such as Rocky IV, Team America World Police (In this case with a bizarre Harry Potter twist) and Karate Kid, so it's obvious what i need to do create my own montage of part 1 of my homework the brake.

Nothing says bling-bling and inspiration like the Coasters song Yakety-Yak from 1958.

Below is a photo I took in class as an approximate before and after although the brake on the left hasn't been finished.

There is still a bit more cut and polish needed to finish it off but that gives you the idea. I used a combination of a small bit of angle grinder, rotary tools and files. I think I'll need to buy a curved mill file to finish it off in and around the boot of the brake.

As Brett has indicated they are not what you'd call powerful brakes but they will help get your bike under control. Remember when you were a kid putting your front foot on your wheel to slow you down? Yep that's pretty much it. Please enjoy the gratuitous use of bling below as a fitting finale to this weeks post.

Source

Bling-bling out.

Part III Revenge of the Axle

Da da da da da daa daa da daa

I know from the thousands of phone calls, texts, emails, comments, faxes, telegrams, couriers, carrier pigeons and smoke signals, I left you all anxious and more than a little sleepy after last weeks blog. The questions on every ones lips
- Will they be making Weekend at Bernies 3?
- Will Anikan oops i mean Aaron not turn to the dark side and swap name tags on the axle of someone who didn't balls up their axle.

 Do you see the family resemblance?

Well Obi Wan Kenobi (aka Brett) showed me the path to the dark side was fraught with danger not to mention I'd possibly be lynched by a mob of crazed P-Far builders (that's just how we roll). When Obi Wan Kenobi dished out the brand spanking new crankset and cotter pins my heart was in my mouth and my pancreas was secreting enzymes but just quietly it does that anyway.

I hurried over to the bench to see the damage I did last week. The first cotter pin was fitting nicely and the second one was a little too tight', as the youth of today would say YeeHaa Grandma! (The tight cotter pin can be fixed with filing and since we determined last week metal doesn't grow with watering)! After cartwheeling around the shop I decided that this was surely a sign not to do any more on that part this week.
(BTW when i first drafted this blog i had included a comment to 'hopefully insert a solution here', yes I was as worried as Gaddafi should be). So I then went on to cut the chain ring off the right hand crank like below.

The basic idea is to replicate the left side I've got a bit more work to do on it with my friend the file.

After all the excitement of cutting a crooked line in metal I turned my attention to creating the rim profile. Now this is possibly one of the most exciting jobs this side of.... well my day job.

You essentially go from this view...

 To this if you are really lucky....

We did this for an hour and a half. It's actually quite critical without it we wouldn't have a bike but the machine does most of the work when it feels like it.

During the week we had emails regarding the cast bearing holder. This is what is included in the course cost.

This is what a number of us prefer

*Insert boring nerdy part* Brett had made a high quality casting and discussed with a local business about getting them made. We had to have a minimum of 10 people for the foundry to do the mould and they cost around $76 per pair plus the additional machining required for the bearings to sit in. A number of us had concerns about how traditional it is, it seems there is no standard traditional in fact something similar to this style was used. The goal of this build is not to improve on the design. The simple fact is nobody alive was around who knew how these were actually built and there were many different designs so there will be some creative licence. Now if you have read this I'm so impressed I'll even throw in some chips with your burger from last week.

Now we have three weeks while those 'students' sit around and play with their cup in ball or what ever these crazy youth of today do. Next week I'll talk about the home work we've been assigned.

Now to take us out from Part III Revenge of the Axle....

The sequel

Now in movies they say the sequel rarely is as good as the original. With the obvious exception of Weekend at Bernies 2.

Will the excitement of the first week be maintained or even enhanced? Will they realise Bernie is actually dead... will the Hardy Boys find the lost treasure... Read on my friends...

Walking into the class I was still a little nervous about sitting in the corner like this...

however I sucked up all my "maleness" and "she'll be rightness" I could and pressed on into the workshop.

BREAKING NEWS

We now have a genuine woman in the class. This revelation had all the men sucking in their stomachs and pushing out their chests. The effort of this removed all the oxygen from the room creating a vacuum and we all passed out.

Upon regaining consciousness and realising that she had set up all the work spaces and completed the task for this week and was ready to go home we realised she was far more competent than we were.

For those awestruck by my onesy in my first post I'm pleased to report was a distinct undertone of onesy jealousy this week from members of the class. Secretly I'm not surprised as I did 'bring it' in a big way!

Now this week we broke off into a few groups. A few people kept rolling the rims, a few working on turning the rims into wheels (as above), one person at a time on the spoke machine, the rest of us started working on the axle.
From this

Then this

to this

Our job was to create a flat spot starting 6mm in from where the axle tapers in and 8mm across for the cotter pin. We used a hack saw to make some shallow cuts (around 2mm) then a metal file to even it up. Then the really difficult bit was repeating it precisely on the other side without a frame of reference. It's a fairly precise job and I'm pleased to say I managed to stuff it up. The excuses are many including
- only 3 cotter pins with the 6 of us doing the same job all needing two of them so we could check our progress.
- a cotter pin hog holding onto two of them while he got his so precise NASA is going to use them on the next space flight. (there is always one in every group like this)
- I was using too coarse a metal file that took too much off.
Turns out that you can get bigger cotter pins so the world is safe from floppy cranks.

Look at this happy chappy before he realised metal doesn't grow back no matter how much you water it.

I'm loving this ye olde effect it really gives it the olde timey goods.


Ps. I realise I made an error in last week posts one of the key reasons penny farthings were made obsolete was the in 1888, when John Dunlop re-invented the pneumatic tire for his son's tricycle.

Pps. If you are still reading this far I'm seriously impressed. I would love to shake you by the hand and take you out for a burger. Considering the number of people reading this I'll come pick you up at 7pm we'll only need one car.